Laugh of the day

During the second Gulf War, I was an Air Force colonel. I routinely flew on different aircraft to familiarize myself with their capabilities. One day I was aboard an intelligence aircraft, where each crew member was surrounded by complex gear. A young major showed me his computer screen. "That's a chat screen, sir," the soldier said. "We use it to relay enemy information to the crew -- like instant messaging." Nodding, I moved down the line. Flashing on an airman's screen several feet away was the warning: "Heads up -- the colonel is on his way!"